Always Coca-Cola

So I went to see a movie last night, and before it starts we get the now-requisite 20 minutes of commercials (remember the days when you just got an ad for snacks in the lobby? Seems almost quaint by comparison). Now, I usually make every effort to ignore commercials when I'm watching TV. I've become so skilled at avoiding them that I can channel surf through an entire commercial break, until my keenly honed sixth sense tells me to return to my channel just in time to rejoin my show. Years of practice, my friends. However, when a commercial is playing in front of you in a darkened theatre on a 40-foot screen, it kind of demands your attention.

The one commercial that really caught my eye you're no doubt familiar with: a crowd of fresh-faced 20-somethings race through an indeterminate European city, arriving in the town square. They immediately don brown jackets, and sketch an enourmous chalk outline of a cola bottle on the pavement. Finally, an aerial view ties it all together: they all stand inside the bottle outline and then stream into a similarly-drawn glass outline, creating the illusion from the air of Coca-Cola being poured into a cup. Looks kind of impressive, actually.

Except the commericial is filmed in a jerky, faux-documetary style that leaves me entirely cold. It's all made to look like some spontaneously grand youthful experience: A veritable youthquake (some marekting term I heard) of people impulsively declaring their love for Coca-Cola in an elaborate peice of performance art. It would be pretty nifty, except for the fact that it's a fucking commercial. We're talking about one of the largest multi-billion dollar branded corporations in the entire world trying to pretend like they're the damn Burning Man Festival. I know it's just a commercial, and I know that Coke doesn't actually think kids are going to run around Europe creating these elaborate displays, but the whole thing just makes my sack itch (hey Mom, remember the show we saw with that 'sack' line?). If Coke wants to sell me pop, then go nuts: I already drink it. But if you're gonna have people sell your wares at least have the stones to make it look like a commercial; dont try and hide behind some hip, 'street cred' notion of fake-authenticity and think I won't notice.

Oh, and for the record, the movie I went to see was "Walk the Line". A little uneven overall, but I liked it. I think you'll like it too, Dad.