Boo-Urns

Boo-Urns. That pretty much sums it up.

"Get Some Grownup Pants!"

Wow. Another week down. Leading to what, no one knows. So once again it's been a couple of weeks since my last post. I bring you the highlights now.

- Michelle and Neal's wedding was positively fairytale-esque (provided the fairytale involves copious amounts of newfie screech). My friend (and defacto-date) Amanda sang opera during the service (she was so good, she came this close to upstaging the proceedings. But not quite). Evidently, the pianist was quite excited to accompany someone with actual classical training, as opposed to "the bride's best friend who sings really great karaoke". The entire service was held at Casa Loma, which is notable for being a) a castle in the middle of downtown Toronto, and b) the stand in for "Professor Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Mutants" in the first X-Men Movie. Riley made a fantastic bridesmaid, easily making the most entertaining speech (and trust me, there were many speeches). I spent the evening taking it easy and enjoying the open bar, you know, once I had actually arrived (I got there just in time for the priest to say "please be seated" to everyone). I hung out with Cal and Amanda, and spent most of the night talking to one of Neal's cute lawyer friends (who disappeared early, thus preventing me from getting her phone number. Damn slippery lawyers!). All in all, one of the finest weddings I've ever been to.

- Last week, I signed up with a new temp agency, called Quantum. And let me tell you, these people know how to get shit done. Not 3 hours after I left my interview, they were calling me with my first job. Now if only acting jobs were this easy to come by.

- I had my first rehearsal for the next Bad Dog show, Hardboiled. I tells ya, the people doing this show are truly making me want to bring my A-game. Some really funny folks. I'll let you guys know when it's opening.

- Last week, I got a care package in the mail from my (apparently wonderful) folks. It contained massive amounts of Easter chocolate, a curious amount of toiletries, and best of all, the first 4 episodes of the new Sopranos season!

Have I explained to you all how much my Dad kicks ass?

- I have started compiling a list of words and phrases I rely too heavily on in my everyday vernacular. They include: kick-ass; dude; amazing; sorry; fantastic; man; funkaliscious (well, maybe not that one)

- I have become addicted to MySpace. It's rather disgusting. Here, take a look.

- I had a great Lord of the Things show on friday, and a pretty good Theatresports show on Saturday. Unfortunately, we were not able to retain our title against RUSH (the Improv Troupe). But there's always next month...

- I plowed through the latest Harry Potter book this past week. It never ceases to amaze me how these kids' books utterly and completely draw me in. Plus, Snape!?!?!?

- I had a great morning today, and a rather crap-tastic afternoon. I slept in till 10, made some tasty scrambled eggs and watched some Sopranos. As soon as I left the house, it all went to crap. I went to the wrong casting agency and missed my audition. Then, on my way to work I got into a random argument with some other bicyclist who passed me while riding on King Street. He had dangerously sped past me in a very narrow spot, so at the next red light I promptly chewed him out in front of a crowd of passers by. I told him not to pass me like that again, and then (regarding his spandex biking tights) advised him to "buy some grownup pants!". I would concede that this was an unnecessary outburst, brought on by my audition frustration, if it hadn't felt sooo fucking gooood...

- Upon arriving to work today, I found out that a promotion I had applied for went to someone with scads more experience. And then I found out that my temp job tomorrow got pushed back again. Grrr....

- Tonight, the Peters and I attempt to conquer the Rivoli. Wish us luck!

So what's on my mind today? I've been following the story about the biker gangs in Southern Ontario lately. Apparently, within 48 hours the police had charged 5 people from the Bandidos biker gang in the crime. I have to admit, I was pretty impressed. Then I heard about another unusual murder case, this one involving a bingo player murdered by 4 women, apparently over a $1000 jackpot. Upon hearing this, my mind basically wrote a comedy sketch about it all within seconds. I pictured a darkened clubhouse, with three little old ladies sitting around splitting up the loot. Things get tense as they argue over their cuts, and then a phone call arrives:

"Irene isn't going to make it. Someone took her out."
"Who?"
"The Bandidos got her!"

Then my roommate Greg suggested the name "Grandidos" and we giggled ourselves silly.

Oh, by the by, the Bandidos have a website. I love the internet.


Before I go, here are some shows I have coming up. If you have any questions, feel free to drop me a line. Cheers,

Apr 11 2006 9:00P Approximately 3 Peters @ the SketchCOMedy Lounge @ the Rivoli
Apr 13 2006 8:00P Approximately 3 Peters @ Radio Vault @ Bad Dog Theatre
Apr 21 2006 8:00P Lord of the Things @ Bad Dog Theatre
Apr 26 2006 8:00P Approximately 3 Peters @ Midweek Mayhem @ Bad Dog Theatre

The Post Without a Point

Well, first off I'd like to thank everyone for the responses to my last post. Apparently all one has to do to elicit sympathy is whine self-pityingly on one's blog, and the people will come a runnin'. Though I must admit to being very curious who some of those specific people are. I have several theories. With the exception of Ray, and Garby, who incidentally gets the prize for "most specific advice" with her quote "I've taken to drinking...". That much, I think I can handle.

So it's been another week, here in the big city. My life at this point has basically broken down into this: I stay home during the day, puttering around on the internet and applying for various online job postings, emerging occasionally for sporadic auditions. I either work at the Second City in the evenings, or I go to the Bad Dog to do shows and rehearsals. And that's really it. Work, home, show, work home show workhomeshowworkhomeshow. In the interest of hopefully finding some more gameful employment, I've signed up with several temp agencies. And, I found a new apartment. It's at the corner of Bloor and Ossington, and I'll be living there with Mr. Andrew Bush and Mr. Scott Stephenson.

You know, I'm writing this post, and I realize that I have absolutely no idea what I'm writing about. My head feels like it's in a fog lately, a fog that rolled in sometime early last fall and hasn't left for months. It seems like I spend more time daydreaming lately than doing anything constructive, and this I feel is the real reason I'm so dismayed lately. I'm happiest when I have purpose in life (what an earth-shattering concept) and lately it seems that I can't even conceive what that purpose might be, let alone find it. My iTunes on my computer right now seems to be favouring my Radiohead selections, and that suits my mood perfectly. It's mysterious, vague, over-stimulated, and spontaneously angry. Right about now, I just want some meaningful interaction with someone. It's been weeks, possibly months, since I had a conversation with someone that made me actually feel engaged (read. conversations about TV shows or background work or cell phones or callback auditions DO NOT qualify). I guess I just feel really cut off lately. I feel like I'm fumbling around in the dark in this city, not just in my career but in everything I do. Every time I have an idea or try and affect a change, it just gets swallowed up into the darkness around me. I can't tell if anything I'm doing is having any kind of effect on anything. And that's all any of us want in our lives: to see the effects of things we do. My friend Gino seems to think it's time for me to move to another city, he recommends Edmonton. I personally can't really see myself moving out west, but I can't really see myself doing a lot of things. Maybe that's why I'm so unhappy. I need too much assurance before I'll do anything - I basically need to know what the outcome will be before I do it. I don't try enough new things. Maybe living in a new city will do me some good.

I do have one project I'm working towards. It's a 5-week improvisation intensive being taught here in Toronto this summer. It's 6 hours of improv, 4 days a week, taught by teachers from the ImprovOlympic in Chicago. The only kicker: It's $1200. Plus, one can't exactly hold down a 9-5 job while doing it. On the other hand, I'm absolutely sure that this one big gesture will restore meaning to my life.

Alright, I'm getting snippy with myself. Time to go to sleep. After all, I've got a wedding to attend tomorrow. Everyone wish Michelle and Neal luck.

Here's your homework assignment, ladies and gentlemen. What's something you do to cheer yourself up? And lets see some names on our work this time.